It is hard to make a joke about this article http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/26/child.prostitution/index.html
I mean, we all like jokes about relations with underage people, but I am assuming the article isnt about 17 year old high school seniors. (or in some instances 16 year old).
What jumped out to me about this article is 60 pimps were arrested and 55 children were found. Now, I am not an expert in the pimp - whore relationship, but shouldn't the pimp number be less than the prostitute number. I do not know what sort of profit margin you can have on .9 child prostitute per pimp. I would like this joke better if they were just regular prostitutes, or at the leats 17 year old prostitutes, I am going to just assume child equals 17 and precocious.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
this week
I am on a doc review project, got to pay for my advertising mistake, advertising with Christian radio did not result in one phone call let alone one client. I knew Jesus hated me.
It has been fun balancing my clients, doc review and whatever else I do with my time.
The doc review is a hoot. I am torn, I did go to one of the best law schools in the country so it should be hurtful to my ego, but I am too amazing to worry about that. On this review in particular 30 attorneys set it in a non-airconditioned room and every 5 or 6 hours get given an hour or 2 worth of work. Basically, I am getting paid a decent hourly wage to do what I did while I was cooped up with my ankle and not getting paid. An hour or two of work and lots of internet and tv, now it is ipod instead of tv.
I should find a way to work in an asian joke. Oh, one of the guys sitting near me is Asian, went to Cal (redundant). Sadly I have only offended a few people so far at the review, but if it keeps going, I think I can get half the people to hate me in some meaningful way. Oh, more asian joke. There is an Asian lady here with blonde hair, the rarest of all species. Luckily she does not drive into the office, her boyfriend picks her up, so we are safe.
I am looking forward to being done with the double duty crap and getting back to just having my own thing to worry about. I have rediscovered how poor I am at having a boss who I can not be sarcastic too without some sort of reprecussion, not that that stops me.
It has been fun balancing my clients, doc review and whatever else I do with my time.
The doc review is a hoot. I am torn, I did go to one of the best law schools in the country so it should be hurtful to my ego, but I am too amazing to worry about that. On this review in particular 30 attorneys set it in a non-airconditioned room and every 5 or 6 hours get given an hour or 2 worth of work. Basically, I am getting paid a decent hourly wage to do what I did while I was cooped up with my ankle and not getting paid. An hour or two of work and lots of internet and tv, now it is ipod instead of tv.
I should find a way to work in an asian joke. Oh, one of the guys sitting near me is Asian, went to Cal (redundant). Sadly I have only offended a few people so far at the review, but if it keeps going, I think I can get half the people to hate me in some meaningful way. Oh, more asian joke. There is an Asian lady here with blonde hair, the rarest of all species. Luckily she does not drive into the office, her boyfriend picks her up, so we are safe.
I am looking forward to being done with the double duty crap and getting back to just having my own thing to worry about. I have rediscovered how poor I am at having a boss who I can not be sarcastic too without some sort of reprecussion, not that that stops me.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Asians
I learned a valuable lesson last week. Do not play basketball with Asians, ever. I should have learned this lesson before. A quick flashback:
1999 - 2 on 2 basketball in Boston. It is about 930pm so the gym is closing soon. Only 3 guys left, all asian - 15 minutes later heading to hospital with severely strained ankle. Stuck on crutches in the middle of Boston winter. Luckily all I missed was classes.
2001 - Full court basketball - only 5 asians playing. Same gym as 1999, (ironically a gym right next to the BU law school, maybe that should have told me law would cause me pain). Ball loose around mid court. I ran, elevated to grab it. Up comes an asian man, the top of his head lodges into my fron two teeth. His head bleeds, my teeth are dislodged, off to the dentist the next morning, oral surgery and some braces, good times. I do not know what happened to the asian man who I put a hole in his scalp, but I hope he bled to death.
2002 - College graduation was closing in but I returned to the basketball court of pain. Asians only one's playing, I did not want to go upstairs and lift weights. I was in the hospital overnight for a concussion, whores.
2002 - 2009 - shoulder, ankles, hips, back injuries mostly associated with basketball with asians.
August 2009 - Concussion because asian decides to trip me and I go head first, luckily no teeth moved.
October 2009 - Ankle sprain because asian falls guarding me as I jump to put a layup in. As I come down asian screams in fear since my legs are heading rights towards his face. I move my legs so as not to hurt the asian, end up falling on side of foot rolling over it, pain, big ankle, black marks all over the foot, doctor today, let's see if I am going to live.
Just dont play basketball with asians. Driving is not the only thing Asians do dangerously.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Sad Day
Today was a good day, worked til 2 then played golf at half moon bay, kept the score under triple digits despite not really playing that well. Now that I have had time to think about the whole playing golf on a thursday afternoon thing I realize how damn lucky I have been. this is not out of the ordinary, we have been playing midweek golf for a while now on a fairly normal basis. But alas, now, things are about to change.
People are letting me down. Of the two guys I normally play with one had a kid the other graduated from school and got a real job, what the hell.
What about my needs? I guess now I will just have to find more clients and not have at least 4 free hours a week, aweful.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Miner's Day Parade
As you land in Salt Lake City you see a clean white city surrounded by clean white mountains with a hint of green. As you get off your plane you see an airport that is clean and lots of white people. When you get to Park City you see white people, money, trees and clean.
Instead of celebrating Labor Day in Park City, they celebrate Miner's Day. As far as I could tell, Miner's day is a celebration of Miners and their balls. The day's festivities started with a running of the balls. The town lets 3000 balls (not 1500 Mormon men - though there were mormons trying to pass out brochures which is odd in Utah, I mean it is their home field, they dont have to wear the name tags and outfit, I just assumed everyone I met who wasnt drinking a soda or a beer was a Mormon) run down the main street, the people who sponsored the ten balls that finish first win something, no idea what. It was amazing to see thousands of people lined on a street trying to catch a glimpse of range golf balls slowly rolling down the street. After that excitement the street clears and the town has what can only be described as the worst parade ever.
The three mayoral candidates have either a car or a group of people with a banner walking down the street. One of the mayoral candidates sits in her car and asks how much the bathing suit that is on sale at the street sale she drives past costs. The woman is 65 so the thought of her in a bikini cost her my nonvote. The best float was a small soccer field where people stood and threw miniature soccer balls. On the side of the float was a law firm advertising that they could kick your legal problems. I thought it should have said, jew and jew law, we have balls, but most people seemed to enjoy just getting free miniature soccer balls to throw at the floats that followed the law firm float. I hit a camel with my ball, odd that there was a camel walking the streets of Park City, but the theater group wanted to make a point about something, no idea what. One group of people walking in the parade were throwing beads. Unfortunately normal rules did not apply.
After the parade the town had the miner games, which as far as I could tell was a competition of who could move dirt the fastest. The only entertaining part of this was seeing a few Mexican men who were digging a hole stop from their work to grab some water and wipe off the sweat. the Mexicans had a puzzled expression as they look on the competition, white people, moving dirt, white people cheering about the dirt, odd. The Mexicans, after 15 seconds went right back to finishing with their work. They scurried off when they were done and seemed appreciative when I told them me gusta bailar con tu perro. It was a real moment.
Still, it was fun being in Utah. We went hiking and biking which if you know me is as hilarious as it sounds.
Instead of celebrating Labor Day in Park City, they celebrate Miner's Day. As far as I could tell, Miner's day is a celebration of Miners and their balls. The day's festivities started with a running of the balls. The town lets 3000 balls (not 1500 Mormon men - though there were mormons trying to pass out brochures which is odd in Utah, I mean it is their home field, they dont have to wear the name tags and outfit, I just assumed everyone I met who wasnt drinking a soda or a beer was a Mormon) run down the main street, the people who sponsored the ten balls that finish first win something, no idea what. It was amazing to see thousands of people lined on a street trying to catch a glimpse of range golf balls slowly rolling down the street. After that excitement the street clears and the town has what can only be described as the worst parade ever.
The three mayoral candidates have either a car or a group of people with a banner walking down the street. One of the mayoral candidates sits in her car and asks how much the bathing suit that is on sale at the street sale she drives past costs. The woman is 65 so the thought of her in a bikini cost her my nonvote. The best float was a small soccer field where people stood and threw miniature soccer balls. On the side of the float was a law firm advertising that they could kick your legal problems. I thought it should have said, jew and jew law, we have balls, but most people seemed to enjoy just getting free miniature soccer balls to throw at the floats that followed the law firm float. I hit a camel with my ball, odd that there was a camel walking the streets of Park City, but the theater group wanted to make a point about something, no idea what. One group of people walking in the parade were throwing beads. Unfortunately normal rules did not apply.
After the parade the town had the miner games, which as far as I could tell was a competition of who could move dirt the fastest. The only entertaining part of this was seeing a few Mexican men who were digging a hole stop from their work to grab some water and wipe off the sweat. the Mexicans had a puzzled expression as they look on the competition, white people, moving dirt, white people cheering about the dirt, odd. The Mexicans, after 15 seconds went right back to finishing with their work. They scurried off when they were done and seemed appreciative when I told them me gusta bailar con tu perro. It was a real moment.
Still, it was fun being in Utah. We went hiking and biking which if you know me is as hilarious as it sounds.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
shotguns cause giddiness
Guns seem to make me giddy. I don't know why firing a shotgun makes me feel more like a man, but I am sure I am not the only one. To be fair, I have only fired a gun maybe 25 times in my long life. 15 of those times coming this past weekend skeet shooting at Nellis in 115 degree Vegas. As I was being cooked in the Vegas sauna I got to blow up some clay things. Well, maybe like 3 of the 15 I saw.
There were 6 of us. It was odd that the one who was best at blowing the orange orbs up was the Asian. I think all of the video games his people played has genetically turned him into a stone cold killer. Luckily the shooting was straight on so he did not have to worry about the peripheral vision not that his eye shape effects his ability to drive or look side to side.
The jews, all three of us, were mediocre at best. One of the jews shot well right away, I was mediocre at best and the third, gosh, well even a blind squirrell can find his nuts from time to time. (meaning hit once and have no idea how the hell that happened.) In the end we all were pretty sweaty and whiney.
The mormon had funny underwear and hit only a few, but the one that mattered, the 20-1 shot that made me some money off the bachelor.
The bachelor figured it out by the end and was not as good as the china man, but definitely the only other one who could hit the orb on a relatively regular basis.
Anyhow, the gun made me feel good about myself so maybe I should get four or five of them for home to protect myself from the commies.
Monday, July 27, 2009
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