Supreme

I took a trip back east last month. Part of the trip was going to the Surpeme Court for an argument. The argument was about Florida, rich people, their beachfront property, erosion, the government trying to fight the erosion and property rights. or as Judge Alito put it, Spring break parties in front of mansions where the ocean used to be. I was struck by a number of things on my visit:

1) I can walk into even holy government builidngs just by smiling and looking like I belong. That and actually belonging helped. Just by saying, hey, I should be in the front of the line got me to the front of the line, but in the end, not bein able to folllow simple directions to get to an office and pick up my tickets made me 20 minutes late. I don't think I missed much unless the judge get introduced as they stride to their seats and don their robes. Eventually I got in after circling the buidling twice with my friend and hearing about his non HIV exploits (he has been working in Africa for a while and I assumed he had gotten AIDS by being there). Eventually we made it into the courtroom.

2) There is a picture of Muhammed on the awning on both sides of the interior of the Courtroom itself. All the great lawgivers are up there and Muhammed is clearly there with his weapon and a book and the outfit. I think it is a bad idea to mention this as to not anger the muslims, but he's there and he's beautiful.

3) Judges are funny, some of them crack jokes at the lawyer's expense or just make fun of the case in general. Clarence Thomas is laughing and having a great time the whole argument, he just isn't sharing the joke with anyone but Justice Breyer. I really wanted to give him a big bear hug, but I did not get to meet him.

After the argument we were able to get a behind the scenes tour. My clerk friend showed us his office, the basketball court and a few other places. I was hoping to meet Thomas or Sotomayer, but neither happened.

I did get to meet their clerks and some of the clerks from a number of other justices. Smart motivated people. I made my friend nervous by talking about jews when I met Ginsburg's clerks, but I usually can read a room and did not embarrass him too much. I had alot more to blog about right after it happened, but alas, I just didn't write up my brilliant thoughts until now, sorry.

goooolf

I played golf a little while ago. The individual I was playing with and I got paired with a 50 year old irish man and his 30 year old friend.

The friend was a red headed young lady. As it normally happens, I started talking to these two. An obvious question, why did you move here? She moved out to be with her partner. Partner? What sort of business? I work at a hardware store. Okay, I'm confused.

OOOOOOOH. So next hole, I tell her, well, from now on I am telling people my wife is my partner just to confuse people. She smiles uneasily.

A few holes later after I hooked a shot almost into a 65 year old man walking the course a few holes behind me then hooked another one the next hole into a tree. I cursed, blamed asians. She said, I should probably find Jesus. I reply, well, that's rich coming from a lesbian.

Turns out I was right. I assumed though as soon as I meet any woman playing golf that she is a lesbian.

I would be a better golfer if I were a lesbian.

Last night I went to Bay 101 with a friend from high school. He insisted that we play 3-6 limit. I have not played 3-6 limit sober in a very long time. The game is incredibly boring.

Still, there we were, waiting 2 hours to sit down at a 3-6 limit texas hold em table.

Finally, we got seats and as it worked out, the seats were at the same table. The table was pretty talkative. To my right there was a 68 year old black man who had to leave by midnight due to the terms of his probation. I found out that he was on probation for both the use and sale of narcotics. There were two hispanic men, one country girl and the rest asian.

As soon as I sat down I announced that I would either raise or fold from there on. I also bought in for more chips then anyone had at the table. I started architectural wonders with my chips and raising and winning pots either by default or actually have the cards. The whole time I never shut up.

Eventually, the other people at the table started to become annoyed. Eventually was about 2 minutes. One guy threatened me, he had tattoos, so maybe I should have been nervous, but his tattoo was a quote about if you arent for yourself who will be for you and if you are only for you who are you or something like that. I just made fun of him and took all of his chips. The white girl, well, she was not happy with me, I ruined her nice peaceful game where she got attention for being a white girl playing poker. Her boyfriend was there with her. He had a hickey. I asked if that's how you could tell he had aids. She tried to be mean to me, I think, but she was so slow that whatever mean things she said made either no sense or I could twist to make them sound like compliments which made her happy, needless to say, she left and went to another table.

One hispanic guy who seemed nice enough was alone with me in a small pot. Before the flop, I told the guy, hey, I'll check it down whatever it is, so he of course bets right away. I call because I had the nut draw and I hit my draw on the turn. I told him again, it's not too late to check down, he bet, I raised. He bet again no the river, I raised again, he called, I said, yay, I have the nuts, got the chips and made him feel bad about himself.

The other hispanic guy and I talked in spanish to each other about dancing with dogs, puntas and other things that I am not sure what mean.

I won a little bit of money, but I made other people feel worse about themselves, so that makes me the real winner. I got to mix the ultra agressive obnoxious low limit poker stylings of the deaf dan and the winning personality of a certain supreme court justice clerk with my own arrogant twist. Good times. It was like being back in AC during law school only without having to be in Jersey or actually spending time with the law school people.

Sad news, but bad management

It is hard to make a joke about this article http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/26/child.prostitution/index.html

I mean, we all like jokes about relations with underage people, but I am assuming the article isnt about 17 year old high school seniors. (or in some instances 16 year old).

What jumped out to me about this article is 60 pimps were arrested and 55 children were found. Now, I am not an expert in the pimp - whore relationship, but shouldn't the pimp number be less than the prostitute number. I do not know what sort of profit margin you can have on .9 child prostitute per pimp. I would like this joke better if they were just regular prostitutes, or at the leats 17 year old prostitutes, I am going to just assume child equals 17 and precocious.

this week

I am on a doc review project, got to pay for my advertising mistake, advertising with Christian radio did not result in one phone call let alone one client. I knew Jesus hated me.

It has been fun balancing my clients, doc review and whatever else I do with my time.

The doc review is a hoot. I am torn, I did go to one of the best law schools in the country so it should be hurtful to my ego, but I am too amazing to worry about that. On this review in particular 30 attorneys set it in a non-airconditioned room and every 5 or 6 hours get given an hour or 2 worth of work. Basically, I am getting paid a decent hourly wage to do what I did while I was cooped up with my ankle and not getting paid. An hour or two of work and lots of internet and tv, now it is ipod instead of tv.

I should find a way to work in an asian joke. Oh, one of the guys sitting near me is Asian, went to Cal (redundant). Sadly I have only offended a few people so far at the review, but if it keeps going, I think I can get half the people to hate me in some meaningful way. Oh, more asian joke. There is an Asian lady here with blonde hair, the rarest of all species. Luckily she does not drive into the office, her boyfriend picks her up, so we are safe.

I am looking forward to being done with the double duty crap and getting back to just having my own thing to worry about. I have rediscovered how poor I am at having a boss who I can not be sarcastic too without some sort of reprecussion, not that that stops me.

Asians

I learned a valuable lesson last week. Do not play basketball with Asians, ever. I should have learned this lesson before. A quick flashback:

1999 - 2 on 2 basketball in Boston. It is about 930pm so the gym is closing soon. Only 3 guys left, all asian - 15 minutes later heading to hospital with severely strained ankle. Stuck on crutches in the middle of Boston winter. Luckily all I missed was classes.

2001 - Full court basketball - only 5 asians playing. Same gym as 1999, (ironically a gym right next to the BU law school, maybe that should have told me law would cause me pain). Ball loose around mid court. I ran, elevated to grab it. Up comes an asian man, the top of his head lodges into my fron two teeth. His head bleeds, my teeth are dislodged, off to the dentist the next morning, oral surgery and some braces, good times. I do not know what happened to the asian man who I put a hole in his scalp, but I hope he bled to death.

2002 - College graduation was closing in but I returned to the basketball court of pain. Asians only one's playing, I did not want to go upstairs and lift weights. I was in the hospital overnight for a concussion, whores.

2002 - 2009 - shoulder, ankles, hips, back injuries mostly associated with basketball with asians.

August 2009 - Concussion because asian decides to trip me and I go head first, luckily no teeth moved.

October 2009 - Ankle sprain because asian falls guarding me as I jump to put a layup in. As I come down asian screams in fear since my legs are heading rights towards his face. I move my legs so as not to hurt the asian, end up falling on side of foot rolling over it, pain, big ankle, black marks all over the foot, doctor today, let's see if I am going to live.

Just dont play basketball with asians. Driving is not the only thing Asians do dangerously.

Sad Day

Today was a good day, worked til 2 then played golf at half moon bay, kept the score under triple digits despite not really playing that well. Now that I have had time to think about the whole playing golf on a thursday afternoon thing I realize how damn lucky I have been. this is not out of the ordinary, we have been playing midweek golf for a while now on a fairly normal basis. But alas, now, things are about to change.

People are letting me down. Of the two guys I normally play with one had a kid the other graduated from school and got a real job, what the hell.

What about my needs? I guess now I will just have to find more clients and not have at least 4 free hours a week, aweful.