Bad Romance

Lady Gaga's opus Bad Romance has been covered thousands of times, some of the versions are pretty awesome (including hers).

this one is from Tosh's blog and is pretty much the best combination of humor, confusion and scariness: http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/2011/11/08/old-chinese-people-in-a-giant-doll-house-covering-bad-romance/?xrs=synd_facebook

For actually being entertaining I like this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2L1CUy-MCo

I was friends with this kids older brother when we were young, but now that guy is a shrink in Jax and talks about sexting and stuff with teenagers, so, come to think of it, I should get back in touch with him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZCSgsD8-JI

I bring up Lady Gaga to provide these links and to propose a fun dinner party game. You and a friend compete how many Gaga song lyrics you can work into your conversations before you leave that night, winner gets a helmet of meat.

Movie Review

Last weekend I went to see Harold and Kumar's Christmas 3d thingamajig.

The entire time NPH is on screen is phenomenal. The rest of the movie, hit or miss. The use of 3d is not worth the extra 5 bucks you have to spend for the privilege to watch the movie with glasses on. The plot, well, what there was of a plot, is about the same as the first HK movie. The characters want to accomplish a simple task and random humorous episodes occur to get in the way of the ultimate goal.

Harold is still asian and awesome but afraid to stand up for himself to a character of another race (this time hispanic instead of the first one white). Kumar is the genius, somehow his indianness has given him innate medical knowledge, but has avoided success at all costs.

The most cringeworthy scene of the movie is Jason Cho showing that he is more blesssed than most asian men.

I am pretty sure I would have enjoyed the whole movie more if the air conditioned and sound was not broke in the theater and the theater did not smell like feet and fart.

I'd recommend anyone with the maturity of a 15 year old boy to go see the whole thing and everyone to find the NPH portion and watch that over and over again.

Baby Care Class

The wife and I went to a baby care class yesterday. It was a very diverse class, black, asian, white and hispanic couples, none intermixed I promise to you purists out there, but other than the asian parents gasping when the instructor suggested it was okay for the child to get a B, there wasn't much to report about at least when it came to race relations.

That was until we were instructed to go pick up a baby doll that we would use to learn how to hold the baby, wash the baby and change the baby's diapers. They made the partners (i.e. the one's that gave the sperm, the parent or the lesbian buddy, hopefully few crossovers in those three groups) walk to a table and grab the fake baby. As I walked over I noticed that there was one black baby doll. I was behind 4 black men, the Asian and two hispanics, no way I got to use a little Shaniqua to practice on. As each white baby was chosen I saw little Shadynasty laying there waiting to be loved. Of course the Asians and hispanics took white babies, but each black man took a white baby pushing Serena aside. I proudly grabbed Laquisha by her feet. I am sure there is some sort of greater social commentary somewhere other than that black girls have cool names.

name suggestions

I want to name my daughter Lolita. Stupid master Russian novelists. I still may try to convince the wife. It isn't like a child will know the stigma of the name until she's a teenager and by then the kids are usually well adjusted and can deal with anything.

Lolita is actually my second choice, the first choice is Shaniqua. If you do not like it on my future Jewish princess then you are a racist.

I assume by the time the child makes her debut we will have a name picked out other than Lolita or Shaniqua. We are open to auctioning off the naming rights.

A New Game

It has been over a year since I posted, awesome.

I thought of a new game for you and your friends to play.

Come up with as many movie titles that are euphamism for taking a dump. Best one wins that round.

Feel free to add to the list, not all of these are mine:

Hustle and Flow

Operation Dumbo Drop

Eat, Sleep, Pray

Twins

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

Rocky

Raging Bull

Lion King

Paranormal Activity 2

Deuce Bigalow

and of course:

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

my two moms

My wife has a cousin who has two moms. His mother's are jewish lesbians. The kid is not as awful as I normally make him out to be, but you have to cut him some slack, he has two jewish moms, the guilt and nagging must be excrutiating.

8 years ago, wife and I, at the time she was girlfriend not wife, I think I may have even called her by her real name back then, went to DC. We stayed with her aunts. Her aunts thought it was a great idea for their little child to hang out with us and go into the city. After a day with a hyper 7 year old I was done. The thing never shut up and constantly wanted us to buy it stuff and food. The kid could eat. What the could could not do was shut up, we played the quiet game, he lost quickly.

I have seen him a few times over the years, I went to his bar mitzvah or as a wise man termed it, the cult of child worship. I think he was at my wedding and his moms are plenty nice even if they think I am a moron.

Well, all the grandchildren were in the limo on the way to the funeral of the great dr. al. I was in the grandchildren limo since the wife is a grandchild and the old guy was pretty awesome.

After the festivities were over we were heading back to the house for what I assumed was food and remembering. For some reason we started talking about that trip to DC many years ago. I told the now 15 year old that after spending that day with him I no longer wanted children. He responded, after spending that day with you I no longer wanted a father.

minneapolis

We did not quite keep up the blogging daily from europe pace we had set out early to do, but that does not mean we did not have a great time.

Sadly a week or so after returning grandfather dr. al passed and we are now in minneapolis for a little while.

Being here has allowed us to spend time with wife's family.

Tonight around 1130 we learned that there was no milk. mama greggy wanted milk in the morning. So wife her brother and I set out on a journey to find milk.

First we drove to walgreens, alas, walgreens was closed. We took a left then realized that this may not be the right way to go to get to the grocery store. The brother turned around. As he turned left heading back towards what we hoped was the right direction he noticed a cop in the rear view mirror. Wife turned around to make sure the cop knew we were not scary looking. I encouraged the brother to slam on the gas and get us out of there.

A few moments later, the cop's lights went on and brother was pulled over. brother turned off the car and realized that the 1986 celebrity's power windows did not work when the light was turned off. He had to open the door for the cop, luckily, he was not shot. The cop asked for his license and the registration of the car. Luckily again the registration was in the glove compartment. The cop also asked for my id and the wife's id. Being a woman, wife did not have her id on her.

The cop took our IDs back to his car with our story that the car was the car of the late dr. al and that we were not joyriding in the classic celebrity.

A few minutes later the cop came to the back seat where wife was. She had to open the door since again, no automatic windows. The cop then pulled her out of the car and handcuffed her. Okay, that's not true. He just wrote down her name and then figured out how we were all connected to each other and that really, all that had been done was brother had made a uturn in minnesotta, well he claims it was not a uturn. We got a warning, we left. It seems that brother was so shaken by the experience that he started to release gas that made me stick my head out of the window like a dog.

We got to the grocery store right as the lights were being turned off. We drove around looking for an open gas station, strictly obeying all the traffic rules.

No milk, sorry mama greggy.