I rarely have the opportunity to spend quality time with 10 year olds, no, I am not on a sexual predator list. My path just does not normally cross with the kiddies.
Recently, I had the opportunity to have a heart to heart with a lovely 10 year old girl, I am sure she told me her name, but it didnt matter to me, so let's call her Emily. somehow, Emily and I got to talking about politics, dont worry, there were other adults, or at least people in their 20's present.
Emily: My parents are voting for Hillary.
Pretty: Why's that?
Emily: We're democrats, I love Hillary.
Pretty: You know Hillary hates ice cream.
Emily: no way.
Pretty: It's true, she wants to outlaw icecream for children.
Emily: That's terrible, I hate her.
Pretty: Giuliani loves ice cream. Giuliani wants to give it to every little girl named Emily.
Emily: I love Julie Anni. I'm voting for her.
Pretty: You're 10, you cant vote.
Emily: Oh no! I hope I dont lose ice cream.
Emily went on to creatively curse Hillary, sort of like a hateful muppet, I think she threatened some sort of violence at one point, these kids today are aweful. I should help with Julie's campaign.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Vegas Lawyering
I am heading to vegas for work next week. Is it unprofessional to stay up the entire night before giving a deposition to play poker? If not, should I play downtown in some tournaments or just take up residence at one of the rooms on the strip? Life is full of difficult decisions. I guess I should work in prepping for the depo at some point in the trip. Re-raise.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
jewy wedding
I went to a lovely wedding over the past weekend. I am a big fan of the groom and think the bride will provide him with beautiful male children.
The problem with the wedding is that I did not have the opportunity to approve the guest list. I had not seen some of these people since high school. I know since high school I have matured and gotten fatter. I know that I am very little like the kid who couldnt wait to leave the preppy prison I had endured. So, my assumption was that these people had also evolved.
After a dinner friday night, a few of us took the groom to be to a fancy desesrt place, ordered some nice wine and hung out.
One of the guys who I had disliked since I was 12 joined us.
Groom's brother: always funny to kill a kitten
pretty: the microwave is great for that.
groom's friend: you could do the same with a dog.
pretty: you are heartless, how could you kill a dog?
ass: did you hear about the guy who microwaved his baby.
pretty: are you making a joke?
ass: no, this really happened, I saw it on the news.
pretty: (dumbfounded look) what's wrong with you?
later on.
groom's friend: So, ass, what do you do?
ass: I supervise RA's
pretty: so you are still in college?
ass: no, I live in the dorm and help with life in the dorms.
pretty: oh, that's cool, so you get to take advantage of the freshman girls and boys.
ass: no, I would get fired if I tried anything with the freshman girls.
pretty: or boys
groom's brother: they're over 18, cmon ass, dont shy away from the only way you are going to get some.
ass: I like my job, it isnt worth it for some little girl.
pretty: or boy.
ass: anyways, I am dating a lovely girl
pretty: or boy
groom's brother: ya, she seemed nice
pretty: she seemed like she ate a nice girl.
ass: cmon, thats mean, I am not good looking and I really cant do much better.
pretty: ya, I can see that. you really cant get a girl.
groom: or boy.
The problem with the wedding is that I did not have the opportunity to approve the guest list. I had not seen some of these people since high school. I know since high school I have matured and gotten fatter. I know that I am very little like the kid who couldnt wait to leave the preppy prison I had endured. So, my assumption was that these people had also evolved.
After a dinner friday night, a few of us took the groom to be to a fancy desesrt place, ordered some nice wine and hung out.
One of the guys who I had disliked since I was 12 joined us.
Groom's brother: always funny to kill a kitten
pretty: the microwave is great for that.
groom's friend: you could do the same with a dog.
pretty: you are heartless, how could you kill a dog?
ass: did you hear about the guy who microwaved his baby.
pretty: are you making a joke?
ass: no, this really happened, I saw it on the news.
pretty: (dumbfounded look) what's wrong with you?
later on.
groom's friend: So, ass, what do you do?
ass: I supervise RA's
pretty: so you are still in college?
ass: no, I live in the dorm and help with life in the dorms.
pretty: oh, that's cool, so you get to take advantage of the freshman girls and boys.
ass: no, I would get fired if I tried anything with the freshman girls.
pretty: or boys
groom's brother: they're over 18, cmon ass, dont shy away from the only way you are going to get some.
ass: I like my job, it isnt worth it for some little girl.
pretty: or boy.
ass: anyways, I am dating a lovely girl
pretty: or boy
groom's brother: ya, she seemed nice
pretty: she seemed like she ate a nice girl.
ass: cmon, thats mean, I am not good looking and I really cant do much better.
pretty: ya, I can see that. you really cant get a girl.
groom: or boy.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
first blog
As a young and dashingly handsome attorney I have run into a common theme when confronting older, more experienced, less attractive attorneys. That theme is, they have been practicing law a good deal longer. This is relevant because they therefore know alot more then I do. They really enjoy pointing this fact out during any conversation you have with them.
A normal conversation with these attorneys goes something like this:
me "your client has violated the contract, specific performance is required in this case involving real property." (I sound very intelligent and use big lawyer words like "case")
old attorney "No, read what is written, (reads back a portion of the contract)"
me "Exactly, there is a contract and your client violated it."
old attorney "dont interrupt me, I have been working in this field for over 30 years and I would not take this case if I were you."
me "I appreciate your advice, but your client is in the wrong, we should mediate to save our clients money and time"
old attorney "fine, we can mediate, but now that you mention it, my client had a reason to withdraw from the contract. I did not mention this before because I have 30 years of experience."
Today the judge got into the act and told the opposing attorney how good he was and how honest he was just as the attorney was mischaracterizing a conversation I had had with him.
Luckily for me I can always fall back on my looks.
A normal conversation with these attorneys goes something like this:
me "your client has violated the contract, specific performance is required in this case involving real property." (I sound very intelligent and use big lawyer words like "case")
old attorney "No, read what is written, (reads back a portion of the contract)"
me "Exactly, there is a contract and your client violated it."
old attorney "dont interrupt me, I have been working in this field for over 30 years and I would not take this case if I were you."
me "I appreciate your advice, but your client is in the wrong, we should mediate to save our clients money and time"
old attorney "fine, we can mediate, but now that you mention it, my client had a reason to withdraw from the contract. I did not mention this before because I have 30 years of experience."
Today the judge got into the act and told the opposing attorney how good he was and how honest he was just as the attorney was mischaracterizing a conversation I had had with him.
Luckily for me I can always fall back on my looks.
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