J O B

It turns out that I cant remain unemployed forever, so going back to work has me thinking, what's the worst part about the job.

I am an attorney ("pretty lawyer" give it away?). The worst part of being an attorney is looking in the mirror and realizing how huge a leach I am on society.

The worst part of working at 7/11? Being Indian.

Worst part of being a doctor or nurse? I have heard at least, sometimes when an obese woman comes into the hospital for some obgyn action, a team has to amass around the beached whale. Each leg requires two people to hold back the rippling fat so the doctor can go in the front and find and probe the dried up vagina. Sometimes the fat gets loose and the head gets stuck and th stirrups are of no use.

So, being a lawyer isnt that bad.

Is this offensive?

Vegas Hookers

I learned a few weeks ago where to find hookers while in Vegas. I assumed you could find them at every hotel and on every street corner, wrong. Circus Circus, if there are hookers there, they are old or clowns.

The best hotel for hookers on the strip is the Excalibur. Knights, Sponge Bob 4d, crappy poker room, thunder down under, and hookers.

So, if you know the lay out of the hotel, there are two towers with rooms. The pathway to the towers takes you from the middle of the casino past slot machines and a lounge. The hookers line the slot machines nearest the elevators to the entrance.

I lived at the Excalibur for an entire week. I had more then on run-in with the hookers. Being a guy without any friends with you in Vegas is basically like a magnet for hookers.

Since I am married and love the wife, I didnt pay for sex with a stranger. I didnt even accept free samples. But, I did learn alot about hookers and hooking.

I got into bargaining with, trying to get them to pay me for sex. I also started having conversations with some of the repeat sexual solicitors.

First I list the question, then the different answers I received.

1) How much do you charge?
- depends on how desperate I am for the money
- depends on how desperate he looks
- depends on if it looks like I will enjoy it
- 150, stop talking to me if you dont want to pay me for a good time

2) What brought you to Vegas?
- heard I could make alot of money here
- Want to strip for money, but cant get hired
- I like the weather
- I can make you forget where you are at, 150 dollars

3) You ever get in trouble with the law?
- ya, there are undercover cops all over the place
- ya, soliciting gets you thrown in jail for 12 hours then they release you.
- ya, so many vice cops all over these places, you arent one are you?
- why are you asking me, fine, 100 for whatever hole you want

4) What's the biggest problem you have with hooking here?
- the cops
- too many girls will give it up for free
- I have to whore myself out even more then other places just to compete with the tourist girls
- Seriously, last offer, 50 bucks and I'll let you pee on me afterwards