My brush with fame

I was traveling across the country recently and since I was on US Airways I was both late and required to go through Charlotte. As I was walking from terminal A to B past the piano player in the concourse I saw a man in the distance. A man we all have seen naked even if we don't admit to it.
The Hedgehog, Ron Jeremy, my jewish brother, was walking my way. We stopped under the monitors. I said hello, he said hi, I wished him a happy new year (rosh hashona), he responded in kind. We smiled a knowing smile. By this time there was a large crowd staring at us. The girls trying to deny they knew who he was to their boyfriends and husbands. Well, the real ending to the story is we smiled at each other once more and both went on our ways.

The ending I like to believe could have happened if I had been just a bit more aggressive is he asked me if I had considered a career in adult films and I had to decline because I valued my marriage too much.
The other ending that would have worked is if he farted really loudly at just that moment. Alas, we just had a pleasant jew to jew minute conversation, I'll do better next time.

only in vegas

This honestly happened. I was in Vegas this past weekend (first time I have ever been since july). I won a large hand off a lady at imperial palace. As she pushed her chips into the middle she offered me a view of her breasts in lieu of the chips. She was 70.

Advice to McCain

With voting starting in 12 hours or so I have some advice for the great Senator from Arizona. McCain is a maverick and a gambler; what he needs to do is have President Bush and Vice President Cheney come out and endorse Obama tonight during the football game and on all of the morning "news" programs.

It is the only way to save our country from a president who is half terrorist and half socialist.