minneapolis

It is ass cold in minneapolis in late December and early January. The moment you land at the airport you see mounds of white; snow and people. Other then spending time with the wife's family there were two distinct highlights.

1) Wife almost dies
2) Famous places

1) For anyone who has never been in snow, sledding is when you go down a hill on top of an instrument that was made somewhere in asia. In this case, the sled was plastic and circular. The brother in law, wife and I were going down steep golf course hills on our plastic sleds. We started by getting away from the crowd going down the 18th fairway and instead went further back into the course. We first went down a short hill that ran into an open area and evened out. That was fun for a half hour until we heard word of a better, steeper, more funner hill.

We wandered across the course and lined up to go down the hill. Before the brother in law could head down the hill, we caught view of two teenagers making out at the bottom of our hill. We made some loud noises and scared away the kids. Then, brother in law slid down, as he neared the end of the hill he gained speed and got closer and closer to some brush. He bailed and tumbled onto the snow. I followed, as I neared the end of the hill I spread my legs out wide and slowed myself to a stop. A pile of snow that reached my navel was built up between my thighs. I could not feel some important parts of me as they were pretty much frozen to my leg. I didnt have the motivation to get up, so I stared out into space and then noticed a stream behind the brush that had not quite frozen.

The wife started heading down the hill. She went faster and faster. Her brother screamed for her to bail, but like a woman, she did not listen. She got closer and closer to the brush and the stream. Then, brother in law lunged out of his sled, and tackled the wife out from her sled. The sled flung into the brush and the wife lay shocked in the snow.

2) I made a trip to the new gay mecca. I am not gay, I may live in the bay area, be extremely good looking, and have incredible fashion sense, but I only like black cock, I mean I dont like men.

As we made it through airport security I turned left and headed to the nearest bathroom. As I strolled passed the aisle of sinks and urinals I saw a middle aged balding jewish man taking pictures. A Jew dude in his yamulke and nose was taking pictures of a bathroom stall. We exchanged knowing glances. I walked into the stall 4 from the left. I looked on the wall for some scrawling, some nail mark, something to tell me that this was the very spot Sen. Craig tried to have elicit gay sex. I found nothing. I tapped my foot a few times, reached up under the stall to the person next to me, still, nothing. I sat up, peed on the seat, opened the door and went back to my wife.