Advice for Bar Takers

First off, I am completely ripping the idea for this blog off of the Fool.

The Bar is approaching for wanna be lawyers. People are beginning to stress out and lose connection with the reality of what awaits them next week.

This is what I would do with my last few days before the test:

1) Play some golf - you have to do something for 4 hours straight that is going to both stress you out and relax you. The bar is a test of stamina. The actual information covered is the bare bones of the law; you dont have to understand the why of anything only remember 60% of the what.

2) Assess the lawyers in your state - do a quick google search of attorneys who practice in your state. You will notice a large number of dumbasses. Look at how they look and the things that are written on their websites and blogs and realize, wow, the legal profession is populated with functional retarded overeducated childs of fortune. If these morons can pass the test, so you can.

Of course, you could look at it the other way, people far smarter then you have failed the test so really it is up to luck and you can do nothing about how it will turn out except relax, study a bit and try to undermine the people around you at the test.

3) Undermine the confidence of those closest to you - look you need to practice for this test. You cant overtly tell those around you they are going to fail, but you need to communicate that you know more then them and that there pursuit of bar accreditation is a lost cause. Try it with your girlfriend, you cant tell her she is fatter and hairier then you, but you have to find a way to let her know without stating it or having her blame you for her realizing this. Also, find a new girlfriend.

4) Practice outlining for essays - writing dozens of essays before entering the test is a waste of time, but you should outline the answers and know how you are going to attack essays from all the different multi-state topics.

5) Do as many sample multiple choices as you can. Aim for 80% accuracy and realize the questions are harder on the actual test and you are going to hope to get 70% right to secure passing the test without having to even worry about your state's independent section of the test.

6) Know how to get to the test - dont be late for the test, seriously, that would suck.

7) Set your poop schedule - you have to set up your daily poop schedule so that your dump is not coming during the actual test. If you are not regular like this, eat more fiber.

Good luck, remember the worst thing that can happen is you fail and have to take the test again. That result isnt too bad, at least you dont have to practice law for 6 more months.