goooolf

I played golf a little while ago. The individual I was playing with and I got paired with a 50 year old irish man and his 30 year old friend.

The friend was a red headed young lady. As it normally happens, I started talking to these two. An obvious question, why did you move here? She moved out to be with her partner. Partner? What sort of business? I work at a hardware store. Okay, I'm confused.

OOOOOOOH. So next hole, I tell her, well, from now on I am telling people my wife is my partner just to confuse people. She smiles uneasily.

A few holes later after I hooked a shot almost into a 65 year old man walking the course a few holes behind me then hooked another one the next hole into a tree. I cursed, blamed asians. She said, I should probably find Jesus. I reply, well, that's rich coming from a lesbian.

Turns out I was right. I assumed though as soon as I meet any woman playing golf that she is a lesbian.

I would be a better golfer if I were a lesbian.

Last night I went to Bay 101 with a friend from high school. He insisted that we play 3-6 limit. I have not played 3-6 limit sober in a very long time. The game is incredibly boring.

Still, there we were, waiting 2 hours to sit down at a 3-6 limit texas hold em table.

Finally, we got seats and as it worked out, the seats were at the same table. The table was pretty talkative. To my right there was a 68 year old black man who had to leave by midnight due to the terms of his probation. I found out that he was on probation for both the use and sale of narcotics. There were two hispanic men, one country girl and the rest asian.

As soon as I sat down I announced that I would either raise or fold from there on. I also bought in for more chips then anyone had at the table. I started architectural wonders with my chips and raising and winning pots either by default or actually have the cards. The whole time I never shut up.

Eventually, the other people at the table started to become annoyed. Eventually was about 2 minutes. One guy threatened me, he had tattoos, so maybe I should have been nervous, but his tattoo was a quote about if you arent for yourself who will be for you and if you are only for you who are you or something like that. I just made fun of him and took all of his chips. The white girl, well, she was not happy with me, I ruined her nice peaceful game where she got attention for being a white girl playing poker. Her boyfriend was there with her. He had a hickey. I asked if that's how you could tell he had aids. She tried to be mean to me, I think, but she was so slow that whatever mean things she said made either no sense or I could twist to make them sound like compliments which made her happy, needless to say, she left and went to another table.

One hispanic guy who seemed nice enough was alone with me in a small pot. Before the flop, I told the guy, hey, I'll check it down whatever it is, so he of course bets right away. I call because I had the nut draw and I hit my draw on the turn. I told him again, it's not too late to check down, he bet, I raised. He bet again no the river, I raised again, he called, I said, yay, I have the nuts, got the chips and made him feel bad about himself.

The other hispanic guy and I talked in spanish to each other about dancing with dogs, puntas and other things that I am not sure what mean.

I won a little bit of money, but I made other people feel worse about themselves, so that makes me the real winner. I got to mix the ultra agressive obnoxious low limit poker stylings of the deaf dan and the winning personality of a certain supreme court justice clerk with my own arrogant twist. Good times. It was like being back in AC during law school only without having to be in Jersey or actually spending time with the law school people.

Sad news, but bad management

It is hard to make a joke about this article http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/26/child.prostitution/index.html

I mean, we all like jokes about relations with underage people, but I am assuming the article isnt about 17 year old high school seniors. (or in some instances 16 year old).

What jumped out to me about this article is 60 pimps were arrested and 55 children were found. Now, I am not an expert in the pimp - whore relationship, but shouldn't the pimp number be less than the prostitute number. I do not know what sort of profit margin you can have on .9 child prostitute per pimp. I would like this joke better if they were just regular prostitutes, or at the leats 17 year old prostitutes, I am going to just assume child equals 17 and precocious.

this week

I am on a doc review project, got to pay for my advertising mistake, advertising with Christian radio did not result in one phone call let alone one client. I knew Jesus hated me.

It has been fun balancing my clients, doc review and whatever else I do with my time.

The doc review is a hoot. I am torn, I did go to one of the best law schools in the country so it should be hurtful to my ego, but I am too amazing to worry about that. On this review in particular 30 attorneys set it in a non-airconditioned room and every 5 or 6 hours get given an hour or 2 worth of work. Basically, I am getting paid a decent hourly wage to do what I did while I was cooped up with my ankle and not getting paid. An hour or two of work and lots of internet and tv, now it is ipod instead of tv.

I should find a way to work in an asian joke. Oh, one of the guys sitting near me is Asian, went to Cal (redundant). Sadly I have only offended a few people so far at the review, but if it keeps going, I think I can get half the people to hate me in some meaningful way. Oh, more asian joke. There is an Asian lady here with blonde hair, the rarest of all species. Luckily she does not drive into the office, her boyfriend picks her up, so we are safe.

I am looking forward to being done with the double duty crap and getting back to just having my own thing to worry about. I have rediscovered how poor I am at having a boss who I can not be sarcastic too without some sort of reprecussion, not that that stops me.

Asians

I learned a valuable lesson last week. Do not play basketball with Asians, ever. I should have learned this lesson before. A quick flashback:

1999 - 2 on 2 basketball in Boston. It is about 930pm so the gym is closing soon. Only 3 guys left, all asian - 15 minutes later heading to hospital with severely strained ankle. Stuck on crutches in the middle of Boston winter. Luckily all I missed was classes.

2001 - Full court basketball - only 5 asians playing. Same gym as 1999, (ironically a gym right next to the BU law school, maybe that should have told me law would cause me pain). Ball loose around mid court. I ran, elevated to grab it. Up comes an asian man, the top of his head lodges into my fron two teeth. His head bleeds, my teeth are dislodged, off to the dentist the next morning, oral surgery and some braces, good times. I do not know what happened to the asian man who I put a hole in his scalp, but I hope he bled to death.

2002 - College graduation was closing in but I returned to the basketball court of pain. Asians only one's playing, I did not want to go upstairs and lift weights. I was in the hospital overnight for a concussion, whores.

2002 - 2009 - shoulder, ankles, hips, back injuries mostly associated with basketball with asians.

August 2009 - Concussion because asian decides to trip me and I go head first, luckily no teeth moved.

October 2009 - Ankle sprain because asian falls guarding me as I jump to put a layup in. As I come down asian screams in fear since my legs are heading rights towards his face. I move my legs so as not to hurt the asian, end up falling on side of foot rolling over it, pain, big ankle, black marks all over the foot, doctor today, let's see if I am going to live.

Just dont play basketball with asians. Driving is not the only thing Asians do dangerously.

Sad Day

Today was a good day, worked til 2 then played golf at half moon bay, kept the score under triple digits despite not really playing that well. Now that I have had time to think about the whole playing golf on a thursday afternoon thing I realize how damn lucky I have been. this is not out of the ordinary, we have been playing midweek golf for a while now on a fairly normal basis. But alas, now, things are about to change.

People are letting me down. Of the two guys I normally play with one had a kid the other graduated from school and got a real job, what the hell.

What about my needs? I guess now I will just have to find more clients and not have at least 4 free hours a week, aweful.

Miner's Day Parade

As you land in Salt Lake City you see a clean white city surrounded by clean white mountains with a hint of green. As you get off your plane you see an airport that is clean and lots of white people. When you get to Park City you see white people, money, trees and clean.

Instead of celebrating Labor Day in Park City, they celebrate Miner's Day. As far as I could tell, Miner's day is a celebration of Miners and their balls. The day's festivities started with a running of the balls. The town lets 3000 balls (not 1500 Mormon men - though there were mormons trying to pass out brochures which is odd in Utah, I mean it is their home field, they dont have to wear the name tags and outfit, I just assumed everyone I met who wasnt drinking a soda or a beer was a Mormon) run down the main street, the people who sponsored the ten balls that finish first win something, no idea what. It was amazing to see thousands of people lined on a street trying to catch a glimpse of range golf balls slowly rolling down the street. After that excitement the street clears and the town has what can only be described as the worst parade ever.

The three mayoral candidates have either a car or a group of people with a banner walking down the street. One of the mayoral candidates sits in her car and asks how much the bathing suit that is on sale at the street sale she drives past costs. The woman is 65 so the thought of her in a bikini cost her my nonvote. The best float was a small soccer field where people stood and threw miniature soccer balls. On the side of the float was a law firm advertising that they could kick your legal problems. I thought it should have said, jew and jew law, we have balls, but most people seemed to enjoy just getting free miniature soccer balls to throw at the floats that followed the law firm float. I hit a camel with my ball, odd that there was a camel walking the streets of Park City, but the theater group wanted to make a point about something, no idea what. One group of people walking in the parade were throwing beads. Unfortunately normal rules did not apply.

After the parade the town had the miner games, which as far as I could tell was a competition of who could move dirt the fastest. The only entertaining part of this was seeing a few Mexican men who were digging a hole stop from their work to grab some water and wipe off the sweat. the Mexicans had a puzzled expression as they look on the competition, white people, moving dirt, white people cheering about the dirt, odd. The Mexicans, after 15 seconds went right back to finishing with their work. They scurried off when they were done and seemed appreciative when I told them me gusta bailar con tu perro. It was a real moment.

Still, it was fun being in Utah. We went hiking and biking which if you know me is as hilarious as it sounds.

shotguns cause giddiness

Guns seem to make me giddy. I don't know why firing a shotgun makes me feel more like a man, but I am sure I am not the only one. To be fair, I have only fired a gun maybe 25 times in my long life. 15 of those times coming this past weekend skeet shooting at Nellis in 115 degree Vegas. As I was being cooked in the Vegas sauna I got to blow up some clay things. Well, maybe like 3 of the 15 I saw.

There were 6 of us. It was odd that the one who was best at blowing the orange orbs up was the Asian. I think all of the video games his people played has genetically turned him into a stone cold killer. Luckily the shooting was straight on so he did not have to worry about the peripheral vision not that his eye shape effects his ability to drive or look side to side.

The jews, all three of us, were mediocre at best. One of the jews shot well right away, I was mediocre at best and the third, gosh, well even a blind squirrell can find his nuts from time to time. (meaning hit once and have no idea how the hell that happened.) In the end we all were pretty sweaty and whiney.

The mormon had funny underwear and hit only a few, but the one that mattered, the 20-1 shot that made me some money off the bachelor.

The bachelor figured it out by the end and was not as good as the china man, but definitely the only other one who could hit the orb on a relatively regular basis.

Anyhow, the gun made me feel good about myself so maybe I should get four or five of them for home to protect myself from the commies.

camp twitch and shout

I am not even this offensive

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/07/27/tourette.camp/index.html

Aussie Rules Football

While in Oz last week I went to a Brisbane Lions v. Geelong Cats game. They play a version of football that does not have pads or overhand passing. It was highly entertaining. In one sequence a man threw an elbow at another man's head then a third man was thrown in the air and met the goal post with his stomach as he flew parralel to the ground. The crowd yelled at the ref for calling a penalty and booed the man for not getting up quicker after catching a few ribs on the post. Everyone was drinking heavily (shocking as I was in Australia) and as soon as they found out we were American, they were buying us beers as well. We were in the Geelong section even though the game was in Brisbane. Geelong as far as I can tell is an imaginary place near Melbourne. Even though Brisbane beat the crap out of Geelong the Geelong supporters were still full of energy, waiving their pom poms, singing their songs and getting incredibly sloshed. I havent been to an American football game in a long time, really prefer just watching it on TV, but I think the Aussie game is much more entertaining to see in person. The players are all very athletic, but none of them are big muscular steroid type guys so that was a pleasant change. I couldnt relate to them since I am a beast, but I think most people can relate better to those tall lean guys then the thick men that play football here and rugby there.

thinking fool

I am angry, very angry. Thinking Fool claims to have stopped blogging. I would kindly ask him/her to reconsider this decision. It is like if jesus had decided to stop living on earth and performing miracles just so he could go to heaven and absolve mankind of its sins. Just like that.

Bob Newhart

When given the opportunity to drive 7.5 hours round trip to see an hour show of a man 80 years old I would say most people would sign up and get right in the car. Luckily the tickets were free and off we went to tahoe. My trip started well when we got there just in time to bet the Belmont and I picked the winner on a big 2 dollar bet. 25 bucks, we going sizzla. My budd who did not want to gamble but enjoyed watching me lose saw me play my least favorite game, blackjack and give back that 25 and a bit more. Then we went to dinner, me down 45 bucks, so, just enough to brood but not enough to be angry unless you have a problem.

We go back, I play craps, because, hey, what else will we do for the hour before the show. My buddy watches me with the shooter to my right. The guy gets the point, I put out my bets, one number hits, my buddy asks, so, hey, you want those numbers to come up before the 7 right? Well, crap, craps, shooter out, my turn to shoot. I kindly tell him to go away and commence my rolling. For the next 45 minutes I hit point after point and get number after number. My buddy shows up with about 15 minutes more before the show. This is when I get gas. My buddy standing behind me is not happy with this but recognizes the gravity of the situation and only grimaces. I turn ot the wife of the man to my left who has made a few hundred dollars and apologize, she replies, it's okay, with how you are rollin you can do whatever you want. The raw eggs smell permeated the air for the next 15 minutes as I continued to roll. At 730 exactly, I get a 7, grab my chips to a loud cheer from the table and go watch Newhart. What a rush, until we get the showroom and see an opening act of a 75 year old woman singing and dancing and telling us about her hips and sexlife. All good runs must come to an end.

Battle of the Bay

I played in a largeish poker tourney this week. One of my lasting memories from it was commenting how many Phillipinos were at the casino and have a phillipino at my table take offense. I further explained to him, that no, it is not racist or offensive, it is merely true. There are way too many Manilans in Daly City/Colma and Lucky Chances for any of those mexican asians to mind the fear they instill into white people.

I unfortunately did not get to knock manny pacquiau's cousin out. But I did get to knock out a few of the other cousins who were in the tourney.

New Justice

By all accounts Judge Sonia Sotomayor is an intelligent fascinating woman who is qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice. What I do not understand is why she insists on doing McDonald's commercials --- mccafe

spelling bee

I think they should disband the national spelling bee. Not just because Indians win it, but because it is worse then 5yr old beauty pageants. You f with the kid as much as you f with the cute kids and ruin their lives for what, to have a future hotel owner spell ramada and win a portion of their text books in college?

SF Blues Festival

Wife and I went to the SF Blues and R&B festival on complete accident. We were going to the Cal. Academy of Science because we are dorks.

The half hour I spent at the festival made me realize that segregation was good for some things. White people in general should not go to Blues and R&B festivals. I did not even know there were black people in SF outside of Hunters Point and the Tenderloin. Well, anyhow. Overweight black chick singing about men and how she did not need them. A few black men playing some instruments with some older white dudes playing guitar. Without segregation none of these embarrassing people would ever interact with each other.

bar

Just ran into a young lady studYing for the bar. The test is 2 and a half months from now and she is already hunkered down at panera getting ready. Unless she already failed a few times she needs to relax (if she has already failed a few times I shouldnt have told her it is an easy test and that only morons fail). I mean you have to study, but killing tourself for 10 weeks is not the answer. The hardest part of the thing is not beating yourself up on test day. I mean, if I can pass anyone can pass. The best reassurance is when you drive into the parking lot and there are a few caravan of older mexican men waiting inline to take the test. You point to the Home Depot and say, hey guys, wrong parking lot, but nope, they are there to take the test. Just learn the law, practice your multiple choices and get used to arguing facts against themself and you will be fine. Also, if some strange man talks to you in a panera because his laptop is takin too long to boot up, ignore him, he has nothing but bad intentions for you.

stupid sayings

I was talking to someone about the Kentucy Derby before the race on Saturday. He said, a 50-1 shot would never win, he said he would "bet his life on it"

Now, what the hell does that mean? Do I get his life now that the 3yr old long shot came in? Does it mean I get to live twice as long? Do I get to kill him for entertainment? Do I get all the money he ever makes? Do I get his wife? his girlfriends? his boyfriends? his kids? Do I have to pay his taxes? What a dumb saying. I mean, if the horse lost and became glue like we all thought would happen what would he have won? I didn't agree to give my life or even the life of any future children in the bet? So, he was basically risking his everything for no return? Just a dumb saying, I think saying it makes him dumb, I should get to ride him down the homestretch.

Fuuutbol game

I am thinking of going to the San Jose Quakes game tomorrow evening. That may be the dumbest Idea ever. First, the team is named Earthquakes int he Bay Area, how does that even make sense?

That is a dumb reason. The real reason is, ya, let's go to a confined place with a bunch of Mexicans cheering and drinking, brilliant.

I miss SARS

Harken back to a more peaceful time, circa 2002, asians wearing masks, asians coughing, possible pandemic. SARS was far easier to deal with then the swine flu. It may be that I did not live in San Francisco at the time, but even in Boston I could avoid contact with Asians so I was not worried about catching whatever SARS was.

Now, crap, can you avoid Mexicans? Can you even tell who is Mexican and who is either well tanned or from Honduras or Nicaragua? I mean we gamble in Vegas how many Mexicans we will see handing out those flyers on our walks from casino A to casino B. (The over under can be as high as 110 depending on the length of the walk). The drawback to the bet is that really, how the hell do we know if the guy showing me how to get a lovely lady to my room in under 40 minutes is Mexican or El Salvadorian or even Phillipino? I even get mistaken for a mexican when I am abroad and tanned.

Crap, we're all going to die

Baseball Game

I went to the A's Rays game last night with the wife. It was cold as Susan Boyle's hoohoo. We had amazing seats; 4 rows behind the first baseman. The first 2 and a half innings took over an hour and a half (the game mercifully lasted just over 3 hours). The Rays were up 6-0 (ended up winning 8-2); good times.

In the 4th inning the first baseman, Mr. Crosby (a 1st baseman batting 9th, A's are in trouble) fielded the 3rd out and before trotting back to his dugout tossed a ball into our portion of the stands. There were 3 little kids right in front of me. They had all been well behaved and were yelping like lapdogs as the ball left Crosby's hand. Each kid had a glove, as a self-respecting man, I did not have a glove at a baseball game (a 25yr old behind me did have a glove and I berated him about how that made him a woman or a sissy; to be fair, I tried to get wife to bring a glove since our seats were prime foul ball seats, but she passed).

As the ball got closer I readied myself to lunge over the little kids to catch the ball. I realized in that split second that I would then be giving up my biggest advantage, my height and size. The ball came down into the kid in front of me's gloves. As soon as I heard the ball and the fake leather combine I reached down into his glove and grabbed the ball. To see the look of horror, pain and disappointment on his face was the greatest satisfaction I have ever had. His tears gave me strength. If I had AIDS, his tears would have cured it.

After taking a picture with the ball and tormenting the child with how disappointed I was that he couldnt hold onto a light toss I gave the ball back to one of the other kids just so I could get some more tears. I mean really, what am I going to do with a baseball?

Jesus

Jesus came to me in a dream last night. He says hi.

O BAAAM A

A police officer friend of mine was walking along Hunter's Point (that's where MLK Blvd is or would be in SF). He is walking his beat when a 14 yr old african child runs out and starts yelling, "We got you! We got you! O Bama! O BAAAM A! We got you!"

Racism is dead.

Boyle

I am sure Susan Boyle from the youtube and the england is a lovely lady, but really, she is not that ugly and not that talented. I do not see what the big deal is. This is a far better youtube clip and much more inspiring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EYAUazLI9k

Or this: Asians

Worst Post Ever

Clients suck

I like to believe I have some sort of relationship with reality, but I am jealous of Mr. Draper. Mad Men's beautiful man gets to fire clients when they do not buy into his pitches. I wish I could fire clients. I have so few of them that I can not afford to fire any of them for any reason short of asking me to commit malpractice (and even then, jk).

Still, when a client changes his mind whether or not to file bankruptcy 4 times and gives you a check that he emails you 20 minutes after giving it to you that it may bounce, you want to tell him where he can stick it (hint: in that new youtube les mes singer's ass). Instead, I tell him that until I get some actual money I can not do work on his case. Of course, that's a semi-bluff and I need him to come through with not only some money but some referrals.

I am better looking then Mr. Draper.

How I passed college

My university required 4 semesters of a foreign language. I thought that was excessive and after my third semester of hebrew decided to sign up for the class and stop going. It was more that I was the only one in the class not fluent in the language and I have this intimate distaste of being the stupidest person in the room (except if it is with my wife, I am awesome).

I had the same Hebrew teacher 3 of the 4 semesters. I have always been a lovable guy even at 20 so the 40 year old Israeli lady had an apparent effection for me. While I am incredibly good looking, the though of an older lady wanting some of this did not cross my mind in my younger days (now I think every 60 year old wants me).

A few days before the final I moseyed into the teacher's office hours. We exchanged pleasantries. She quickly got to the point; mentioning she missed having me in class and wondering if I had any interest in taking the midterm or any of the other tests or quizzes from the semester. I explained that my taking those exams was fruitless, but that I would realy like to pass the course. She smiled and I took that as an invitation. I offered her a choice, I would either sleep with her or babysit her children for a passing grade.

Her smile got broader and she gave let a few moments of silence pass. She let a little giggle out then when I did not do anything (until now I did not even realize the signals she was giving me, I sucked) she gave me a counter offer. She offered me a passing grade if I showed up and took the final. I asked her for a B if I showed up and either babysat her or failed at pleasing her. She countered again with a B if I passed the final.

I quickly asked for the time and date of the final and was on my way. After studying for a few days I showed up. I have no idea what I got on the final, but I had a B+ on my transcript.

Malpractice?

http://www.cartoonistgroup.com/properties/fuscobros/home.php

As I am now working on my own in the profession I am concerned more then ever of the possibility of committing malpractice. At my old firm, f- it, if I messed up it wasn't my ass, I was the new attorney, my partner would get the anal fissure before I did.

Now, shit, should I have emailed that, oops, did I tell that client everything he needs to know, I better follow that up with at least an email.

Last year, legal work from a poker table made sense to me, billable hour plus profit for me, now, probably not a good idea, probably, ok, no, bad idea.

The point of this is, nonlawyers have no idea how much by the balls they can have their attorney. Charge me a little too much (or the right amount, no material difference), I am going to report you to the bar. Not return my phone calls, notify your carrier. It is like the middle school teacher being accused of rape when all he has done is give the bitch an F in the A, or B, just having too many people accuse of something wrong is enough.

So, I had a middle school teacher accused of having a conversation of a sexual nature and attempting to schedule a bit of loving wiht a ten year old girl online. Turns out, not a ten year old girl, instead, federal agents, but hey, both can type no hair anywhere and whatever else is good about ten year olds. One day, cops show up at school and escort the teacher away and the school distances themselves from the man. Only problem, not true, teacher did nothing wrong. First clue, guy was queer, oh well, they'll get it right next time.

Famous People 3: Robin Williams

Growing up, I was a huge fan of Robin Williams; I loved Toys, Aladdin and Planet of the Apes (he is hairy). Fisher King was a quality film and his accent wasnt that aweful in Goodwill Hunting. Patch Adams convinced me to go to law school instead of med school, so that was good for some patients.

I was visiting NYC and sipping coffee at Starbucks with the fiancee at the time and a friend. We were having our usual conversation of mocking asians, lawyers and jews. I look left and see a hairy man walk into Starbucks with what I assume was 15 year old asian boy. I pointed out what could have been Robin Williams to my friend. He thinks it is him, wife agrees, I look closer. The hairy man had purple hair a leathery face and just looked aweful. The asian boy was uncomfortably close to him. I shared these thoughts with the table.

- Dude, that's not Robin Williams, that guy is way too old. Purple freaking hair. Looks drunk, run down and what's with the asian boy toy.

The man walks quickly through the store, gets his order quickly and runs out of the store with the asian boy closely at hand.

As I went to get a slice of pumpkin bread I inquired if I was the only one who thought that man looked like a crappy version of the Fisher King. The barrista informed me that it was the Genie and that Mork came in almost every night to get his mocha whatever whatever.

A week later, Robin Williams checked into rehab. I like to think I had a hand in pushing him into improving his life.

Famous People 2: Jerry Rice

I had the joy of running into a few more famous people recently, or they were lucky to see me. In this post, I anger Jerry Rice in a better post soon I anger Robin Williams.

Mr. Rice was two or three groups in front of me playing at half moon bay's old course. Great course, I blew a 4 shot lead over the final two holes, I am awesome, but that's not that interesting.

We were a few minutes early to start our round, so we drove our carts to the first tee and did some practice putting just off the tee box. (Carts are gay, anger they make you use one sometimes on these posh courses). After a few minutes of putting I went back to the cart to grab my cell phone to see if somehow a real firm had magically gotten my number and called me to offer me a real job.

My douche friend who I was playing with points to a black person and says, hey that's jerry rice, I assume every black person I see is Obama or Will Smith so I disagreed.

The black man went into the clubhouse and came out a few moments later, sure enough, Jerry Rice. I asked him to sign my golf ball, but he probably just thought I said my balls(or maybe I congratulated him on winning the election) and drove off to the tee. As he was about to hit I realized my cart was facing the wrong direction so I began to back it up to make the turn towards our tee. Rice's tee shot sprayed right almost hitting a poor mexican man working on one of the homes surrounding the course. Jerry turned, glared at me, muttered, got into his cart and drove off to his ball. I felt good about myself.